Not getting better

Just got my lab results back (the ones that were taken after my initial round of ATP shots), and my ATP is even lower than it was before (16, with 30 being normal), and I still have extremely high levels of my chronic viruses. Dr. wants me to continue taking more shots, in same dose and frequency...I'm wondering if I need to go ahead and request tests for vitamin and mineral deficiencies, although I don't know which specific ones to ask for. I'm not satisfied with the stauts quo. This is hard for me. Please pray.

Talking to myself

This post by Paul Tripp was emailed to me by my DH; it was very convicting to me, because I know that I am often ungracious towards myself in what I tell myself about me and about God. I need to work on this, but it's such an ingrained habit, so it will be a long struggle to overcome it. How do you deal with negative self-talk? Suggestions are welcome....

Cutie's birthday present

Yes, today is only her 21-month birthday, but I think I just decided that we are going to order her 2-year birthday present early. One thing that the occupational therapist recommended for Rebecca was a mini trampoline. Then I talked to a friend from church who said they got an inflatable jumper for their son, who is seven months older than Rebecca and also has sensory issues. I did a little online research today during her nap and I like this one, because it's big enough and sturdy enough that I could get in it with her, if she wanted me to, but I still think it's small enough that it could fit in our house. It's more than we would normally spend on a present for her, and I wish I had known about it in time for Christmas, but I think it will be worth the money. Contributions are welcome!

Presidential Candidate Calculator

My MIL just forwarded me this interesting "calculator" that helps you match up your beliefs and preferences on various issues with presidential candidates. Of course, I suppose this assumes that all candidates would actually act on whatever position they currently say they hold once they get into office; I would have liked it better if it had included "history of consistent voting record" as part of the calculation.

While there is not one candidate that I feel completely comfortable voting for at this point (for one reason or for many), this was a quick way to figure out who the candidates were that I could most likely (and least likely) support, although I think I already had a rough idea about this before I used the calculator. I liked that you could plug in not only "yes," "no," or "unsure" for each issue, but also that you could rate each issue according to how important it was to you. The calculator also has a two-or-three-paragraph explanation of each side of the argument for each issue, in case you are unfamiliar with any of them.

I will not necessarily vote for the top candidate that was returned to me in the calculator, but I think the candidate I end up voting for will probably have been in the top 5 (out of about 20) results that the calculator gave me after I plugged in my answers. I don't want my blog to turn into a political one, so I'm not sure I want to post my specific results; but I'd love to exchange emails if you want to know, or want to tell me what answers the calculator gave you.

Sensory processing disorder officially diagnosed

We have suspected for a few months now that Rebecca has sensory processing disorder, after first hearing about it from her speech therapist. People with sensory processing disorder don't process information they take in through their senses the same way that normal people do. They are either over-sensitive or under-sensitive to various stimuli from the environment, and often have a combination of sensitivies. It is estimated that up to 5% of children in the U.S. have SPD. It is something that is never completely outgrown, but it can be tamed as children (and parents) are taught how to live with it.

We finally saw the occupational therapist yesterday, who said that Rebecca had sensory processing disorder of every sense (visual, auditory, vestibular, tactile) except oral (I guess they don't or can't measure smell in kids this young). Children with oral sensitivities are very picky about what textures and temperatures of food they will eat, and obviously Rebecca does not have that problem.

The other good news is that even though her sensitivities are broad in scope, they are not nearly as strong as they could be. For example, some kids with tactile sensitivities can't stand to be touched at all; Rebecca usually loves being cuddled, and only has problems with light touch, hair-washing, nail-trimming, and walking barefoot on certain textures (like grass). And even though Rebecca is overly sensitive to loud noise (she cries when she hears the vacuum or blender, or if we go to a crowded store), she at least stops crying as soon as the noise is gone, whereas some kids take a long time to get over it.

The OT gave me a few suggestions on how to help Rebecca cope, and is going to send us a list of suggestions of activities to do with Rebecca so that she gets what they call a "balanced sensory diet"; in other words, so that we can get as close to possible as helping her use each sense just the right amount so that her body is not overloaded. This is especially important for children because they cannot learn when their bodies are overloaded with irrelevant stimuli, but they do need to be aware of input from the environment so that they don't just shut everything out. We are definitely looking forward to figuring out how to help her. I even already put one suggestion into practice, after which I trimmed Rebecca's bangs yesterday without her crying. It worked great! I'm ready for more!

Oh, be careful little mouth what you say

Rebecca has added about twenty new words to her vocabulary in the past couple of weeks, a few spoken well, but most with modified pronunciation, although still understandable in context. We are so excited to hear her talking more; but what is fascinating is that her most frequent words are "Whoa, baby!", which is something that Steve and I never say. Her only exposure to it was from a couple of extended family members for a few days over Christmas. (She liked saying "whoa" at that time, but had never said "baby.") The interesting thing to me is that there was a long delay between the time that she was exposed to it, and the time that she started saying it. Now she says it constantly, for no reason, just while playing or when she's in her crib trying to go to sleep. This is a reminder to me that I need to be careful of what I say, because even if it is not repeated immediately, it will eventually come out. This is the most difficult for me when I drive, because I have a habit of calling some other drivers "stupid," and I don't want Rebecca to use that word.

Other new words and word approximations besides "baby" (she also uses it correctly, not just with "whoa") include moon, star, up, down, happy (usually using it to request the song in which you clap your hands); moo, grrr, bunny, buckle, mouse, nose, messy, yucky (for dirty things found on the floor, not food), yummy; duck, pink, blue, Pooh (as in Winnie the Pooh), go-go-go (from her rhyming Bible story book, where God told Jonah to go, go, go, but Jonah didn't listen; he said no, no, no!). The cutest is that she learned to say "Becca", as well as "Abby" and "Emmy" (two neighbor friends close to her age). Also in the last two weeks, she has learned to name letters T, D, P, B, R, M, O, E, and L (she got a bunch of letter blocks and letter magnets for Christmas), and frequently points them out in books and stores, and on clothing and packages. She can also point to most other letters if asked, but just can't say them all yet. Her speech therapist is pleased, but said that Rebecca still has more trouble than most children combining different sounds, especially when it requires a quick change in mouth position; but she should eventually learn correct pronunciations with continued speech therapy.

Contemplations of an overloaded mommy

Things I've been spending a lot of time pondering the last few days, in no particular order:

• Do I want to try crash-course potty-training, or the more gradual approach? (If I do gradual, I think Rebecca is ready to start, but I'm not sure she's ready for an intense level yet.)
• How should I respond to Rebecca's recently-surfaced "minor" disobedience (refusing to come when I ask, etc.)?
• Why can Rebecca identify several letters, but have absolutely no concept of colors or numbers?
• Which of our friends/relatives wouldn't be offended or disappointed if I only sent e-thank-yous for Christmas gifts, as opposed to hand-written?
• Is it worth it to us to pay someone else to help clean our house periodically? If so, how do I find someone who uses non-toxic substances to clean (like good ol' baking soda, vinegar, essential oils, etc.), and/or how much effort will it take to train someone to do this?
• How on earth are we going to get rid of all the weeds in our yard without using bad chemicals?
• What am I going to make for dinner the next few nights? (I'm getting tired of the usuals.)
• Do we have the right asset allocation in our retirement savings? (Steve was a little squeamish when I told him how much his 401(k) had taken a hit over the last few months.)
• How can Steve and I celebrate our 5-year anniversary in a few months (particularly, how far away and for how long can we go by ourselves, and with whom can we leave Rebecca)?
• Will I ever feel like I'm competent as a wife and mother?

Silly and/or serious comments and suggestions on any of the above will be entertained, with the understanding that they will not necessarily be followed. :)

Happy Birthday, Gracie!

One year ago today our niece Gracie was born. We wish we could be with her to celebrate, but at least we just got to see her at Christmas. It will be so fun for Rebecca to grow up with a cousin so close to her in age!

A few favorite family Christmas pictures