Being sick is a full-time job

Wondering where all my time goes and why I feel like I'm always telling my 3-year-old daughter she has to wait for me to play with her, I decided to log the number of hours I spend being sick (and doing other things as well). Really, since I have multiple chronic diseases, I am sick 24/7; but there are specific activities that take time that I have to do just to keep my head above water, and it turns out that they take up enough time to equate to at least a part-time job, if not a full-time one.

For example, in the last three days alone, here is what I've been spending my time doing:
-check blood sugar (mulitple times a day)
-change infusion set
-change CGMS sensor
-order insulin pump supplies online
-call to CGMS company to complain that two sensors in a row failed prematurely and argue about why and request replacements
-explain to 3-year-old that she absolutely cannot interrupt me while I am talking on phone
-download CGMS data and send to company to prove sensor failed
-be grateful our insurance at least covers diabetes needs, if nothing else
-call insurance company to contest error in claim for allergy testing
-research causes and treatments for chronic fatigue (just like I've been doing for the past several years)
-try to discern help from hype in medical and health literature
-realize that I probably have at least two additional conditions that are as of yet undiagnosed
-try to find doctors who are familiar with suspected conditions and treatments desired who take insurance (easy to spend hours upon hours on this)
-come to the conclusion that I will probably have to pay large amounts of money to see a doctor -who is familiar with testing and treatment I think I need
-update FSA status to figure out what we have not yet filed and how much is left in account
-try to find missing medical receipts that have not been reimbursed
-adjust budget to reflect increase in expected medical expenses, for the umpteenth time this year
-request allergy cookbooks from library
-go to library to pick up allergy cookbooks and renew books on chronic fatigue that I have already renewed the maximum number of times online
-browse through allergy cookbooks yet again to find recipes
-weed out recipes that still contain ingredients I am allergic to, even though they're in the special allergy cookbook
-take stock of which ingredients I already have
-make grocery list of needed items for new recipes
-spend lots of time at grocery store looking for unusual ingredients (and still not find everything) -spend lots of time reading labels at grocery store and suffer disappointment for everything I can't eat
-spend lots more time than I used to cooking since I can't buy any prepared foods and I am not familiar with new recipes yet
-spend time treating low blood sugar and waiting to feel better until I can do anything else
-try to decide if 3-year-old gets to share my special allergen-free food that costs 5 times as much as regular food (she wants the exact same thing I'm eating)
-take allergy shots
-take nutritional supplements (four times a day, over 20 pills a day)
-take stock of supplements to see when I will need to order more
-call Dr. office to order more allergy drops
-read and comment on chronic illness blogs
-read news related to "health-care" legislation and mourn
-order thyroid refill
-call doctor to ask why I haven't gotten lab results from three weeks ago
-call different doctor to make appt.
-bemoan the fact that chiropractor is on vacation this week
-stand in shower to try to relieve muscle pain
-communicate to friends and relatives frustrations of various aspects of above list
-wonder if life will ever get any easier
-mourn the fact that 3-year-old stays up late one night being scared that she will have to go to the doctor and get blood drawn and it will hurt
-wonder what I should be doing to prevent my child from getting any of my chronic diseases
-wonder if I need to get child tested for allergies
-mourn the fact that I have a very limited social life, simply because I spend so much time being sick
-cry uncontrollably due to frustration
-decide that eating something I crave will make me feel better
-lose battle to only eat things that I am not allergic to
-try to explain to 3-year-old why I am crying
-wonder what God is preparing me for that is even worse than the collection of medical problems I have now
-rejoice that 3-year-old gives good hugs

The above things were only in the last three days, and they are regular occurances. In a typical week, I can also add things like finding babysitters for doctor's appointments; preparing for doctor's appointments (making lists of supplements and dosages, lists of symptoms and concerns in order of severity, etc.); and going to doctor's appointments, which typically take a few hours if you include transportation time and waiting time (I've had six appointments in the last month).

Imagine doing all these things day after day, month after month, year after year, and getting more and more piled on top of you every year. If I ignore anything, I will get worse. It does NOT get easier with time. Some people may get used to being chronically sick, but those people are not me.

I do have one silver lining: at my appointment on Friday, I got the first opportunity I have ever had in almost 16 years of being diabetic to share the gospel with someone who had the same disease I did; an opportunity that I would not have gotten if I had not had diabetes. Don't know if anything I said will make a difference, but at least I got to say it. And I suppose that if there is even just one soul in heaven because I suffer ill health daily for years on end, then I am willing to suffer. The hard part is being willing to suffer even if there are zero souls in heaven because of my suffering. Of course, there are always the indirect results that are possible, too...like, maybe my one and only child will grow up to be a medical missionar, sharing the gospel with hundreds or thousands of souls, which she may not have had the desire to do if she did not grow up with a chronically ill mother who always wanted to be a missionary.

I think with each passing day I am able to understand more and more how Jesus must have felt being stuck with a human body that experienced fatigue and pain, and therefore appreciate his sacrifice for me. I wish that I could handle it half as well as He did....