The smile that keeps me going
Lately I've been pretty discouraged about my lack of energy. (This is why it's been so long since I've posted anything on my blog.) I'm kind of wondering why God gave me a baby but didn't give me the energy to take care of her. She's a pretty easy baby to take care of, but I feel awful lying on the couch so much of the time while she plays by herself. Thankfully, she just learned to walk by herself about ten days ago, so she's not constantly asking to hold onto me to help her walk. Today she is fourteen months old. Her smiles are all I have to keep me going right now. In this picture, she is having fun playing peek-abo0 with her daddy.
Last week my ob/gyn got some test results back that indicate I have extremely high levels of antibodies to the Epstein-Barr virus, which is associated with chronic fatigue syndrome. Apparently there's not much you can do to treat it...you just have to wait for it to run it's course, which can take months. My endocrinologist has also ordered some lab work to test my adrenal function, which I am convinced is too low. Adrenal fatigue is treatable, but not many doctors (including mine) have much experience with it; and the treatment is multi-faceted, takes a long time, and will be complicated by my already-existing diabetes and hypothyroidism, which, by the way, are under the best control they have been since my pre-pregnancy days, but still not where they should be. Please pray for me as I struggle daily not to be bitter about my multiple health problems, and for wisdom as I contemplate seeing a very knowlegable but very expensive holistic doctor who does not take any insurance (because he finds it is too limiting in how he can help his patients).
posted by Elisabeth | 6:17 PM
3 Comments:
Elisabeth,
I have been praying for you and will continue to pray.
Don't feel guilty about laying (lying? which one is it?) on the couch while Rebecca plays. She's probably happy to have you there. I spent a lot of time on the couch during my first trimester of this pregnancy while Becca played--she would often bring me books to read to her too. I think I actually spent a lot more time with her just on the couch than I do now that I am up and around getting things done.
I know this is such a hard time for you. I pray that God would give you patience in affliction and joy in these hard times and answers to why you are so tired. You are such a caring and wonderful Mom to Rebecca. She looks like such a happy toddler. :)
Elisabeth,
I agree with Tricia. I spent 3 months in bed with Mark. It was so much worse for me than for Corrie and Heather. I am so proud of the mother that you have become. That girl is not deprived. Look at that adorable face. We got the picture today. She is just the most precious baby. Thank you so much for thinking of us.
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Love you,
Aunt Cindy
Okay, before I even read my mom's post, I was thinking the same thing! It just goes to show what a smart mother I have! That happy girl is in no way deprived! She's one of the happiest babies I've ever met! I think God gave you a baby because he knew you needed a reason to get up in the morning. You needed something to make you smile while you are lying on the couch feeling exhausted and frustrated and discouraged.
And that darling Rebecca is that happiest baby and is going to be the biggest blessing to a mommy with chronic illness.
Oh, all I remember about my mom being sick when she was pregnant with my mom is that we got to visit my grandmother in Houston and they had cable so we got to watch "Pinwheel" on Nickleodon and spend Christmas with grandparents (a rare treasure). :-)
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